Thursday, October 7, 2010

What an emotional day...

So at the appointment today, things did not go well. Parker's heart is now beating at 48. Below 50 is VERY bad. Also, a bit of fluid is forming around his heart. Not a lot, but it is a sign of heart failure. The ultrasound technician left to go get a doctor, and due to a lot of patients she brought in a new dr I had never met. Apparently, this doctor did not know my background, and did not realize how huge these things were. How dangerous they could be. So she patted me on the back and said "see you on monday!" I walked out of there confused, but I figured she knew what she was doing.

I got home, and talked to my wonderful stepmother as she cleaned my house for me. She left, and as I was sitting down to lunch I got an urgent call from a doctor from the practice. She's not my main doctor, more the #2 of my case. She said she was going over the notes from my ultrasound, and panicked. She was not told of the results during the actual appointment. She told me to rush down to Primary's, so the cardiologists could have a better look and decide what to do. She said "you have been doing so well, we don't want to lose this little guy!"

I rushed. I ran. I cried a bit. This little guy has been having such a difficult time lately.

After a quick echocardiogram, the dr did confirm the previous findings. And then he dropped the bombshell. He wants me to be admitted to the hospital so they can monitor me closely. For how long? Until this baby is born. And he wants to get the baby to 32 weeks. At least two full weeks of sitting in the hospital alone, without my son and my husband.

What will I do with Colby? What will I do without Colby? I have no idea how I will make it. The thought alone is making me sob. In all my planning, I never thought that something like this will happen. I am not prepared for this. My son's 3rd birthday is in 10 days. I do NOT want to miss it.

The dr was going to call my dr to let her know of his thoughts, and I hope she talks him out of it. I really do. I would honestly prefer to deliver this child tonight than have to go through that. I feel horrible and selfish for saying that.

Right now I am just depressed and a mess.



  1. I'm so sorry sweetie! SO overwhelming and difficult! I'm praying even harder for you guys! And whatever I can do to help, I will do it. If I need to take Colby during the days or overnights, whatever, I will do it! If that means bringing him up to see you, I'll do it. You can do this, it's understandably a hard situation, but you can do this! You are the strongest people I know!

  2. Hang in there it will be alright. If I lived closed I would help out.I am so sorry your going through this.

  3. Hugs Amy. You are so strong. I just want to let you know I am here and available if you need anything as well. We would be happy to have Colby over here anytime if it would help. Can I make a meal for your freezer of anything? I know things are hard right now.

  4. I am so sorry! Whatever you need, I am here. I am happy to take Colby whenever, or come sit w/you at the hospital to pass the time. Anything!

  5. I am so sorry! You'll make it through! I can't even imagine how much you are going through. I am thinking of you and praying for you and Parker.

  6. Oh Amy, I am so sorry. I know this must be so hard for all of you. I'm thinking of you and Parker, and Colby and your husband. I think of you guys and pray for you so often. I know how heartbreaking it is to know you need to do something but also know its going to be so hard and its going to mean time away from your little guy. It sounds like you have so many people who love you and are ready and willing to help out. It WILL work out, as hard as it may be.

  7. I will come see you! I will come sit on your bed and we can laugh, and cry together. Text me, call me, let me know what I can do for you okay? Love you Amy, and praying so very much for you and for your family!