Tuesday, November 30, 2010


To the Current Occupant of my belly,

This is an eviction notice. The residence in which you are living can not take any more abuse. Your constant parties in the middle of the night have disturbed many of your neighbors, not to mention your landlord. In addition, the constant harassment of your neighboring organ, “the bladder” has gone too far.

You are to pack up your placenta, amniotic bag, and any other items you may have and leave the premises. If you have not vacated by Dec 8 at 11:30 a.m. you will be removed by force via c-section. Clearly it would be much easier to turn yourself in and leave on your own. As an added incentive, if you chose to leave early, the landlord (Mommy) promises to buy you lots of pretty and shiny things. You should take advantage of this one-time offer.

Any questions or concerns can be brought up to the owner of the premises, your mother, and must be done in person. I hope you enjoyed your stay these last 9 months and I know the outside world will be a much better fit for you.

Sincerely Yours,



Well, I really have been avoiding posting this because I don't want to become scared about this. I don't want people to worry about a problem that may or may not exist. But today is yet another big appointment, and frankly this is all I can think about.

So, the heart thing, right? Its just pumping slowly. Its a quick fix once he's born and he'll be back to 'normal' and the world will be right. Of course, he'll have a few surgeries in his lifetime to replace his pacemaker/pacemaker's batteries, but for the most part its non-invasive.

Well about two fetal echocardiogram's ago (please tell me I'm not the only one who measures time by appointments!) they discovered something else. His aortic arch may or may not be narrowing. Its a small tube thats hard to see, especially by ultrasound before the child is born. If it is indeed narrowing, its due to the stress his poor heart is going through. In that case, my son will be put on medication and will eventually have surgery to widen it. Because of its size and location (and my crazy wiggler son) they cannot fully determine if it is going to be a problem. Both ultrasounds have indicated it might be, though.

Its kind of ruining my 'living happily every after' outcome though. I want his health problems to be fixed permanently, right after birth, thank you very much. I don't want to have to worry about administering meds, the constant worry that something might be wrong. Late at night trying to decide if I should call the cardiologist or if I'm just imagining things. Due to the pacemaker surgery he's already not coming home with me. Will this slow down his trip home too?

And then you face the 'what ifs'. What if he had been taken out in October before this started hapening? Would we have avoided this complication? Would it have been worse?

The mind games are insane, especially when all I want to do is give birth to my sweet little boy, to hold and cuddle him, to take him home with me, to care for him.

I don't know, I'm just hoping for a great day today, where all the appointments go well and there's a lot less worry on my part.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Never thought I'd say this...

but I'm still here. Pregnant. At the beginning of all this mess I never dreamt that I would be pregnant for this long.Everyone kept saying to expect a preemie, and so I did.

And now, at 36 weeks, I feel.... proud. I'm doing it. Not exactly with a lot of patience, grace or poise, but I'm still here. My little guy is still growing and doing okay.

And in all reality, things are going to be happening. Soon! The doctors can't push this off much longer. This baby is going to want out.

I'm a bit nervous, apprehensive, and excited all rolled into one.

Grow, Parker, grow!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Whats going on with us?

Not a darn thing. Ok thats not entirely true, but I wanted to make it clear that we're still here. He's still baking, I'm still pregnant, we're doing okay.

There's a tentative plan in place, but I've learned not to put much stock into any plans!

If I go into labor, they'll take him out. I am hoping that this is how things happen, rather than waiting until they decide when the right moment is. I am having a few mild contractions, but they are nowhere near actual labor yet.

So things could happen at any time, or they could not.

But for now, we're doing okay!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Maternity pictures!

My dear dear friend Kim is a photographer, a fabulous one. While I was cooped up in the hospital, she came to visit me. She brought me pretty clothes, did my hair and make-up, and transformed my hospital room into her own little studio. I love these pictures and felt so special! The nurses were thoroughly impressed too, asking if they were next. Hehe!

(images are property of Kim Orlandini. Posting with permission. )

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Just make up your mind already, Doctors!

This is just another post on the ridiculousness of my doctors. My doctors don't communicate at all, but they tell me they do!

Last Tuesday, my new ob-gyn said that I should go full term to 37 weeks. But on that date (Dec 1) they'll take him out.

Last Friday, Parker's cardiologists informed me that they held an "Amy and Parker meeting" and want him to bake until 38 weeks. They told me that they spoke to my ob-gyns, and they were on board.

This past Tuesday, I saw my ob-gyn again. She informed me that the cardiologists had not spoken to her. Plus she found new things to be worried about (my health, this time) and she wants him out no later than 35-36 weeks.

Can we just pick a day and stick to it???

For the record, I'm 34 weeks today.


Friday, November 5, 2010

I think Parker reads this blog...

and I'm glad!

After my informing (ok... complaining) about his breech position, he took note and is now comfortably laying on his side. Out and away from trouble. Its been two days, and any damage he did to my cervix is back to normal.

And second, after also mentioning how he ALWAYS fails his ultrasound tests... well he's making that one up to me too. He was always failing because he refused to breathe, which was docking his points and making him fail. Well, no more. The moment they put the probe on my belly, he starts breathing, big huge movements. He has passed all his tests for the past 2 1/2 weeks, so I don't need to go in for any extra tests!


small complaint though. All my doctors got together and have a "Parker and Amy" meeting. I wish I were invited! They have now decided that 38 is the new magic number, which adds yet another week to my pregnancy. This makes me more nervous, because it never really occured to me that I could go into labor with Parker. I was in labor with Colby before 38 weeks. I just always assumed they'd take Parker out before I had to worry about that! Also towards the end they'll want to see me even more frequently than two days a week. It just keeps piling on, eh?


Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Parker is a little stinker in many ways. One of the ways... the little boy loves to hang out breech. For those that don't know what breech is, I found the most non-graphic picture on google images I could. They're supposed to be head down, and sometimes Parker is. But he much prefers sideways or this, breech. And the kid loves to kick. And kick and kick and kick. I am getting VERY sore. Turns out he's causing me to dialate a bit. So in case this pregnancy wasn't difficult enough, they're starting to watch out for signs of pre-term labor.
Touche, Parker.