Monday, October 11, 2010

Happy Happy! Joy joy!

I am HOME! And exhausted! But home!

I went in to the cardiologists today, and he said "wow, things are starting to look a bit better! The amount of fluid has gone down, and this baby looks fine. So we're good, you can keep staying in the hospital and we'll keep monitoring you!" And... I started crying. A part of me was hoping that the dr would say "Oh no! Lets deliver you today!" not because I want my son to get sicker, but I cannot stand to be in the hospital. I think its pointless, and just causing so many problems for so many people. My family is torn apart and its becoming quite stressful. Once the dr saw my tears, I think he realized that this was not what I wanted. So in an effort to stop the hormonal pregnant lady from sobbing, he told me I can go home if I abide by his conditions.

UHM, YES! Anything! Let me hear it!

So here they are:

1- I have to have daily ultrasounds up at that hospital. Weekdays, weekends, everything. They want to continue monitoring the fluid amount, and checking that he's moving. Basically, just making sure he's not getting distressed.
2- I have to go in for weekly fetal echo's with the cardiologists as well.
3- I have to also visit with the head of the high-risk doctors up there, as sort of a consult. They want to make sure that I understand everything that is going on.

So it will be tough, but I would so much prefer that than the current situation. It is tough staring into space, wondering when the next meal will come. Missing my husband and child. Feeling the guilt and the sadness of the situation. Dealing with VERY incompetent nurses (not all, I had a few I loved!) And the run-around as all million of my doctors and nurses tried to communicate, and failing miserably.

So instead, I get to sleep in my bed! And spend my son's birthday with him! And see my husband all week! And hug my kitties!

Of course, this could all change in a second. If for any reason, Parker's not doing well, I win a one-way ticket back to the hospital. But I will take what I can get.