Tuesday, November 30, 2010


To the Current Occupant of my belly,

This is an eviction notice. The residence in which you are living can not take any more abuse. Your constant parties in the middle of the night have disturbed many of your neighbors, not to mention your landlord. In addition, the constant harassment of your neighboring organ, “the bladder” has gone too far.

You are to pack up your placenta, amniotic bag, and any other items you may have and leave the premises. If you have not vacated by Dec 8 at 11:30 a.m. you will be removed by force via c-section. Clearly it would be much easier to turn yourself in and leave on your own. As an added incentive, if you chose to leave early, the landlord (Mommy) promises to buy you lots of pretty and shiny things. You should take advantage of this one-time offer.

Any questions or concerns can be brought up to the owner of the premises, your mother, and must be done in person. I hope you enjoyed your stay these last 9 months and I know the outside world will be a much better fit for you.

Sincerely Yours,



  1. HA HA! That's cute! YAY for an end date finally! I'll continue to keep you guys in my prayers! But I think December 2nd is actually a better day for a boy named Parker to arrive into the world. ;) Now wouldn't that be funny! And it's only 2 days away!

  2. You crack me up!! You do realize that is like a week away, right? Want to grab lunch on Monday one more time before you are the busy mother of two? If Parker decides to wait it out, that is.

  3. Amy, that was adorable. I read it to Matt and we are both giggling.

    Good luck with your precious baby!

  4. LOL, I love you, sweetie! And hey, he'll be here soon! You've made it! You've survived and apparently still have a sense of humor. :) Love ya lots.

  5. Good luck! You 2 will be in my prayers!

  6. LOL! Super funny. I hope everything goes well!

  7. That is absolutely the cutest thing I've ever heard.